“I got divorced.”
I said those words very matter-of-factly during a sermon a couple of weeks ago at my favorite church in the world, OASIS. The sermon wasn’t about divorce, it was about church planting. I made the comment during a point in my message where I was briefly listing off a few of the “challenges” we’ve experienced as a church plant over the past 3-4 years.
I wanted to say more about the word “divorce” but it wasn’t the right moment. It wasn’t the right sermon. And I probably wouldn’t have given the subject enough attention to make it worth elaborating to begin with.
So I thought I’d elaborate here.
For the past few years, separation, divorce, re-marriage, and everything in between has been a prevalent topic within my church and within my circle of friends. Before experiencing it, I probably wouldn’t have dared speak much about it. But after navigating this personally over the past few years, I do have some thoughts that may be worth sharing.
#1 – God Hates Divorce (keep reading)
Trust me, I became VERY AWARE early on that the Bible says this about divorce. I had counselors, friends, and even some family quote Malachi 2:16 to me, which says plainly, “I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel.”
Yes, God does hate divorce. But God does NOT HATE PEOPLE.
- God hates drunkenness, but he didn’t hate Noah.
- God hates fear, but he didn’t hate Gideon.
- God hates rebellion and disobedience, but he didn’t hate Jonah.
- God hates murder, but he didn’t hate Moses, David, or Paul.
- God hates divorce, but he didn’t hate the Woman at the Well.
- And if you’ve ever walked through a divorce, for any reason, you probably hate divorce, too!
One (among many) of the reason’s God hates divorce is because it hurts the people involved. Divorce causes immense pain and suffering to both parties and to the children, in-laws, family and friends.
So, yes. God hates divorce.
#2 – It Still Happens
Personally, one of my biggest challenges was dealing with the reality that, even though I AGREE divorce is wrong, it still happened. I vividly remember sitting across from a mentor of mine wrestling with the reality that something that is not supposed to go down, was going down!
So, regardless of what you and I believe about it, it still happens. Ever since marriage became a thing, divorce became a thing. And there are ALL KINDS of reasons why people end their marriages. Right or wrong, every story is unique.
#3 – Dating and remarrying and stuff…
There are some who would argue that after divorce, you shouldn’t remarry or you will burn in hell. Just a heads up, I disagree with that. LOL And I’m happy do discuss why if the subject comes up, I’m just trying to keep this blog post short.
But I will say dating and remarrying is a VERY interesting topic. There are tons of thoughts and ideals out there about how, when, and who to pursue marriage with. You must consider your own personal health, what have you learned, are you ready, are you dating the right person, what is God saying to you? Etc.
There are a lot of people dealing with the challenges of struggling relationships, failed marriages, and dating again. I’ve received NUMEROUS questions about this subject. And I’d like to set some time aside to answer all the questions.
So, let me get to the point.
On WEDNESDAY, Sept 27 at 2pm, I will be on Facebook live answering questions about Separation, Divorce, Re-Marriage, and Everything In Between.
SERIOUSLY, NO QUESTION is off limits!! You ask the questions and I’ll do my best to answer them with truth and grace.
So, you can find me on Facebook HERE. I will only be answering questions that are sent to me in advance. Send me a private message with all of your questions, and I will collect and prepare to answer on the day of the event. (I will not chat with you personally via Facebook messenger, please don’t be offended by that. Just ask the questions and I’ll do my best to answer online.
ALSO, please note, I will keep your name confidential. Unless you specifically request it, I will not be saying your name in the live feed or anywhere else!
Looking forward to spending time online discussing this topic!