Blog

The Last Time I Watched Porn

August 23, 2017 - Blog -

First of all, let me say this:

This blog post is NOT intended to make you or anyone else feel guilty. If you are already feeling some shame just at the mention of the word, “porn” then let me invite you to stop right here and receive God’s MERCY. His capacity for mercy is far greater than your capacity for sin.

HOWEVER, with that said, in view of God’s mercy, you and I have POWER over porn. There IS hope for those who struggle with the same stuff over and over again. And that’s what I hope this post does. I hope this post offers some hope along with some PRACTICAL steps to winning against porn.

So I have a question for you.

When was the last time you watched porn? And was it really your last?

The last time I watched porn, was just that…It was the LAST time I watched porn. And I hope this blog post can help you make sure your last time watching porn is actually your LAST time watching porn, too!

Here’s HOW to make the last time, your LAST time:

#1 – You gotta WANT it.

This is true about everything in life. Weight loss, saving money, being a good father, whatever. If you dig in and REALLY WANT it, you’ll figure out a way. But until then, If you lack COMMITMENT, then you’ll be right back to your old habits in no time. You gotta get to a place where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. In the New Testament, Jesus often asks people who were sick “what do you want” or “do you want to be well” – and the answer to this question determined Jesus next steps. The reality is that your commitment must start deep within you. You need GUT LEVEL desire if you want to quit porn.

#2 – You gotta be RADICALLY honest.

Who have you told about your struggle? Who have you told about your desire for freedom? My opinion is that you CANNOT win against porn by yourself. In order to be set free from the trap, you need to confess to someone you trust. And then allow this person you trust to hold you accountable! And remember, you are only as accountable as you are vulnerable and transparent. That’s why RADICAL honesty is so important. You gotta be willing to put your crap out there even when it smells terrible.

#3 – You gotta CLEAN HOUSE!!!

Don’t just throw away your stash, get rid of the things that aren’t porn but still make your mind go there! For example, if your wife is always leaving Victoria Secret catalogs on your nightstand, tell her to put that junk out of your sight! (Ladies, when you look at Victoria all you see is a cute bra and panties. But when HE looks at Victoria, he sees boobs and butts!!) So, politely ask your spouse to remove that stuff and be sure you DUMP anything you have on your computer or in your phone. This also means you may need to UNFOLLOW certain instagram accounts. For example, I unfollow women on instagram who show pics of their cleavage and/or butt cheeks. I just unfollow them! You might need to unfollow, maybe you need to unfriend, you may need your friend from point #2 to password protect your web browsers or your app store. Do WHATEVER it takes to make porn unaccessible.

#4 – You gotta do SOMETHING ELSE with all this new time on your hands!

Reality is, if you are the average guy dealing with porn, you probably spend more than 5 hours per week watching porn. That’s 5 hours you could be working out, 5 hours you could spend reading, 5 hours of time with God, 5 hours of time with your kids, 5 hours of dating your wife, or even better, 5 hours of ACTUAL sex with your spouse!!!How will you use the extra time on your hands? Replace this time by working on a project, doing something new, etc! 

#5 – You gotta STAY in the zone!

So many guys get free for a while, but then end up right back on the xxx hamster wheel. If we want to ensure our last time watching porn is our LAST time, then we have to REMAIN focused on this new way of life. We have to lean into the power and presence of God, we have to continually invite accountability, and we have to continue to close the door on old habits and sin when it tries to creep back in! 

The reality is, whoever you are, you CAN do this!

I know most of you were probably expecting a more “churchy” solution from me like “pray more” or “pray differently” or something like that…but I talk to so many people who have prayed about it, they’ve gone to special church services, they’ve sought pastors advice, and eventually they just decide their best option is to HIDE it because they don’t feel they can FIX it.

I can honestly say I have fought this fight, and I will continue to fight this fight because I believe the health of my ministry, my marriage, and my future DEPEND on it!

5 Comments
  • dori

    This is something that needs to be discussed in church! A trap is a trap and Satan uses our guilt and our shame to keep us in bondage. Darkness can't hide from the "light."
    Share with someone you know will not just keep you accountable but cover you with prayer. There us freedom in letting go and letting God!

    August 23, 2017
  • Daniel Potter

    Great Thoughts, Bill.

    August 23, 2017
  • JILL CARDEN

    This is 100 % truth! This is what we need more of today.

    August 23, 2017
  • Matt Clayton

    Very well said and presented brother. Thank you!

    August 23, 2017
  • Tabatha dixon

    Thank you, Bill! This is an epidemic and a dangerous habit! We need to discuss this. Those who struggle with this need support and need to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Bringing it to light is the first step. Thank you!

    August 23, 2017
Care to share your thoughts?

Leave a Reply